Practice of Sustainability

The above recording took place during an extremely vulnerable and broken space in my life. Everything I believed, had been challenged and I “felt” lonely. Outpoured the following poem titled:

Dare to be All One

I woke up one day lonely.

Alone, all one, whatever you want to call it.

Call it anything except lonely.

I woke up one day and all I had given myself to was gone.

Twenty-plus year marriage, gone.

Daughters I had given my soul to, gone, living their best life.

Alone, all one, whatever you want to call it.

Call it anything except lonely.

Start over you say.

Yes, start over. Forty-one years young and you say start over.

How do you start “over” when a start was never defined?

Where do I start? Where is MY beginning?

May 30, 1976? No, it’s gotta be April 18, 1997?

Naw, how about May 6, 1998? Or maybe January 12, 2000?

There has never been a true start because each of these encounters was someone else’s beginning.

Alone, all one, whatever you want to call it.

Call it anything except lonely.

The morning star is what I was called. The changer, healer, free spirit.

When a star is born, their light is usually snuffed out quickly.

Did this star expect anything different?

1976 the year of the Dragon. Fire. May 30, the sign of the Twin. Air.

Fire & Air. Snuffed out by child sexual abuse before ever knowing its power.

Alone, all one, whatever you want to call it.

Call it anything except lonely.

April 18, 1997, an unchartered love was born.

The depth of this “Love” was new, overwhelming even, refreshing and everlasting.

MOTHER, the title of Power. The one path that can lead to unconditional love.

Patience led to lessons. Lessons led to understanding. Understanding led to wisdom.

This is a leading role that only a star can fill…

BUT I had no idea I was training my protégé.

Alone, all one, whatever you want to call it.

Call it anything except lonely.

May 6, 1998, till death do us part.

O’ how many parts of me died, straining to keep that marriage alive.

That’s what survivors do though, strain to stay alive.

That day was tied to a PROMISE from God Himself, the two shall become one.

Well, He was right. The two of Us (God and I) did become ONE.

November 1, 2017, when I decided to leave and live.

Alone, all one, whatever you want to call it.

Call it anything except lonely.

January 12, 2000, how deep is the love of a MOTHER?

Is love’s Power that strong to convey itself equally without preference twice?

Why yes! Yes, it is.

Another soul reliant, dependent, looking to me to give of myself for their wellbeing.

A reflection of myself, yet a better version.

An opportunity to protect the free spirit of one who will NEVER conform.

The privilege and honor to parent a Revolutionary REBEL.

Alone, all one, whatever you want to call it.

Call it anything except lonely.

Mystical intuition. Grounded energy. Deep insight.

Giving to everyone. Yet, no one gets me.

An empath to the core, even a goddess if I choose to be.

High maintenance in my emotions, my intellect, and in all my sexual tendencies.

Shunned for telling the secrets that stifled my beginning, snuffing out my FIRE & restricting the flow of my AIR.

But still, I recognize, and welcome good energy and I tread lightly because empathy has taught me…

To each individual there is a life path that requires time alone, away from the demands, pressures, and influences of family, religion, friends, society, politics, social media, HELL media in general, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, our own warped sense of loneliness. To be ALONE or better yet, ALL ONE, is not loneliness, it is necessary to learn the truth of who we are with AND without another material BEING.

Alone, all one, whatever you want to call it.

Call it ANYTHING, but don’t you dare call it LONELY.

Practice Makes Progress!

Life can go from a desperate desire for love to the mastery of one’s thoughts, emotions, and actions, which leads to the greatest love of all, internal love. Sometimes we simply need an external force to awaken our internal change.

The first law of physics states that an object in motion stays in motion and an object at rest stays at rest. The nature of the object is to remain the same unless an external force compels it to change.

Just like objects, we humans resist change unless an external circumstance requires us to make them. Our ingrained habit is to remain the same. Think of external disturbances like a car accident, loss of a job, or a divorce as instruments that provoke us to forcibly change the state of our mind. But forcible change may or may not result in permanent change. Most times, continuous change is obtained through the Practice of Sustainability. Lasting change involves acceptance of the external, observation of the internal (thoughts and emotions), and consistently getting to know, understand, and practice truly being who?

I Am.

The two greatest and most powerful words in the Universe are, I am. What we put before or after those two words just is. Whatever we believe when we think, feel, or recite “I am” will present in our external world. I am convinced of this truth based upon the evidence of my personal experience. I am living the life that I am creating daily.

“To become who I am, I must learn who? I am. Upon learning who I am, I must understand who? I am. And, if I desire to be who I am, I must choose to live as who? I am.”

Question-Investigate-Explore

The journey to who we are is nothing less than mind blowing. The settings and beliefs of the mind have to be blown away and rewritten. (This would be a great place for the emoji whose head explodes, by the way:-D). The truth of who I am was like a mental windstorm that stirred up the debris of survival, uprooted the weeds of confusion and, at the same time, cleared a straight path for me to connect to my inner self.

The day I chose the path to life brought way more questions than answers. To spare those I love the details of this painful space, I will condense the experience. Hopefully without diluting the impact of the unbalanced external forces that brought me to truly question who I am.

One morning I was awakened suddenly by the ding of back-to-back text messages. Slowly lifting my head and rubbing my eyes, I looked at the clock and quickly laid back down.

“It’s four in the morning. Who is texting me at four in the morning? I’ll get it when I get up.” I thought to myself as I drifted back to sleep.

One minute before the alarm, I opened my eyes, smiled, and said, “Today is going to be a great sales day.” I had recently made up my mind to double my sales at work just to see if I could do it. And the excitement of it was the first thing I could think about when I got up. It caused me to jump out of bed and quickly hit the shower.

As I was putting the coffee grounds into the Keurig, I remembered the rude awakening from earlier that disturbed my sleep. I started the machine and walked into the bedroom to get my phone…the photos burned images in my mind, and everything went red.

What happened next? Well, long story short, I courageously ended a marriage of twenty-plus years, I moved out on my own for the first time in my life. I was lonely, afraid, and free. That year was the best-worst year and at some point, during that time, I arrived in a space where I was determined to get the answer to the burning question, who am I? Curiosity was peeked and my internal detective skills kicked in. Then, the Elle-Lumination began.

Who Am I: Questions for Self-Discovery

Who do I say I Am? Who do I say I am in my thoughts? Who do I say I am with my actions? Who do I say I am with my words? Who do I say I am to my family? Who do I say I am to my friends? Who do I say I am with my finances? Who do I say I am in my career? Who do I say I am with my body? Who do I say I am with my emotions? Who do I say I am with how I spend my time? Who do they say I am and does their opinion of me matter more than my own? But, most importantly, who do I believe I Am?

Your Call to Action

If you have a journal, grab it, if not, grab some paper and sincerely answer the above questions.

Remember, the only thing that really matters is who we believe we are. Who we say we are, who we think we are, and who we display we are in action. When we know and understand who we are based on our core beliefs, we are able to choose how to respond to life’s circumstances instead of reacting from our feelings and our emotions. The mind rules everything – thoughts, feelings, emotions, and actions – be mind-full and observe your thoughts as often as you can and with practice you too can enjoy mastering the mind!

***BONUS – 28 Day Mind Practice

I suggest choosing one technique to practice every seven days. If you are new to meditation, set a timer for sixty seconds for each practice and increase the time by thirty seconds as you progress.

Remember practice makes progress! Make today a practice day.

Deep Breathing Rhythm 4-7-8

The 4-7-8 breathing technique is a powerful yet simple breathing exercise:

Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
Inhale quietly through your nose for a 4 count.
Hold your breath for a 7 count.
Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound for an 8 count.
Repeat this cycle 3-4 times.

This helps to activate the body’s relaxation response.

Focus Concentration: Anchor the Breath

This practice trains your focus by giving the mind one object to concentrate on:

Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
Choose a specific point on your body – the tip of your nose, your abdomen – as your anchor.
Direct your entire attention to the physical sensations of the breath at that single point of the body.
When your mind wanders (as it will) to a thought, a sound, or a feeling – simply notice the distraction and gently redirect your attention back to the breath and your anchor point.

The gentle return is the practice itself.

Acceptance: Acknowledge and Allow

This technique helps you meet your internal experience without resistance:

Bring your awareness to any discomfort, strong emotion, or persistent thought you have been experiencing.
Instead of trying to push the feeling away or analyze/judge it, simply “name it” in your mind with a neutral label, such as “Thinking” “Worrying” or “Impatience.”
Follow-up the label with this silent phrase, “I acknowledge and allow this to exist here.”

This allows you to recognize and accept its presence in the moment without mental struggle.

Forgiveness of Self: The Loving-Kindness Loop

Sit comfortably and place a hand gently over your heart.
Mentally repeat a few simple, powerful phrases directed only at yourself. Silently repeat:
“I trust myself.”
“I love myself.”
“I forgive myself.”
Freely allow the feeling of compassion and kindness to flow toward yourself.

If a feeling of self-criticism or past mistakes arises, acknowledge it, and then gently return to the calming, forgiving loop of the phrases.

HAPPY PRACTICE!!!